Confessions of an expat bike thief

Comments

• you scum

  You sick. It's because of people like you that it sucks to live in this city. I really hope that you get to try your own medicine soon.

  Posted by alhambra May 08, 2013 11:44:19

• Bike theft

  I just had my bike nicked. Nearly 18 months old, don't know if it's me or my girlfriend who feels worse about it. To see my bike lock, which incidentally cost 10% the cost of the bike just lying shattered on the ground where my bike was, just pissed me off. The fact that some utter scum bag probably does just fence it off for 30/40 euro to some other arsehole equally pisses me off too.
  If I got my hands on the prick who pinched, I'd kick the fucking shit out of them, esp if it turned out to be a a fucking yank.......
  
  

  Posted by Harry January 20, 2013 18:18:49

• fake. troll article

  Not a real story. Totally fake. Someone's trolling. Dead beat dad, on government assistance, womanizer, thief, drug user. Someone's painting a picture.

  Posted by peebottle October 06, 2012 19:41:23

• I'm buying a knife for people like you

  I am going to get another bike, and wait for you to come in. the next one is getting his throat cut with my new knife. I am not violent but people like you make me one. And by the way, your kid should be taken away and you should not be allowed to see your kid ever again.

  Posted by michael September 03, 2012 11:23:07

• total. wasteman

  this guy is a lost cause. too many with this kind of attitude and it stinks. the london riots were started with this mentality. getting something for nothing. total waste of space I hope you do the right thing and give something back to the community, like charity or helping grannies cross the road. or just carry on smoking your 'doobies' and wasting your life away.
  
  #thecandinsky

  Posted by thecandinsky November 06, 2011 13:12:22

• re-examine my moral values?

  Hey Walter Crasshole, what do you mean we "need to examine our own moral values"? At least, we have some, unlike some assholes. Or would you prefer simple immorality, like people stealing stuff you worked hard for? We are not on any high horses - you are the one on a high horse, with your puerile judgements of normal working people who have been deprived unjustly. Grow up.
  
  The only thing is that I agree that the Ex-B was right to publish the article - I think the response shows the general disgust of normal good people and the mendacious false nature of at least one bike thief.

  Posted by dave November 04, 2011 08:21:55

• Blah

  whiney, bitchy white people whining and bitching about white-people problems. seriously, why not just go occupy kotti brücke? fight the man. the one man. mobs are so sexy.

  Posted by sopho November 03, 2011 13:29:52

• huh?

  @Walter Crasshole: while I agree that many of the comments on this string are fairly extreme, I fail to see how not wanting to get your bike stolen and hoping the thief is punished when it does happen is a "silly bourgeois plea." I also don't understand how thinking a recidivist bike thief should be punished puts someone on a moral high horse of privilege and entitlement.
  
  In your opinion, how should theft be handled? Or do you think it should not be punished at all? Please clarify.

  Posted by bikerider November 03, 2011 12:12:51

• ...

  The problem was that I had, like, no money. I was waiting for it. I was asking my family for money, but it was just taking so long and I couldn’t take it anymore. I just wrote my auntie, like, “Well, I’ve gotta steal a bike then.”
  
  How about "well, i've gotta find a job then."

  Posted by Eva November 03, 2011 11:34:13

• Enough!

  Alright, mob. Settle the fuck down. You sound like a bunch of tea-partiers. Look, I've had my bike stolen and it fucking sucks, but most of you need to examine your own moral values. Once you put down your pitchforks and Draconian calls for imprisonment, maybe you can see that you silly bourgeois pleas for revenge only shows your own deep-seated privilege, entitlement and conservative values (things, I might add, BERLIN DOESN'T NEED). You people are fucking scary.
  
  I am not defending bike theft. It fucking sucks. I wouldn't do it and I don't wish it upon anybody, but I'm not on a high enough horse to say that this man should be locked up.
  
  To those that think Exberliner is somehow advocating or condoning criminal behavior or people's extreme views by publishing a (true!) story, how many times is Geraldo chastised for interviewing Charles Manson? Or any other news organization interviewing someone about their behavior. Extremem example, for sure, but you get the point.
  
  On a side note to the guy who used the word "moralfags": fuck you. Homophobe.

  Posted by Walter Crasshole November 03, 2011 10:50:05

• More police needed

  I agree that we need much more police action over stolen bikes. Berlin is generally such a peaceful, safe, uncomplicated city EXCEPT for bike thefts. It was interesting to read such "confessions" but I think people like the him should really be in jail for the trouble and anguish they cause. It is disgusting too to learn that he was even claiming benefits paid by the citizens he was stealing from. Scum indeed. Also scum are the people who would buy such blatantly stolen bikes, and therefore encouraging such thieves.
  
  It was also interesting to read his lies in the comments about being beaten up by the German police. Maybe that happens in Africa or the USA, but not here in Berlin, asshole. Try another better lie to justify your shittiness - how about laziness, selfishness and greed?

  Posted by david November 02, 2011 02:45:15

• @Youdeservetimeinjail

  If there were Fahrrad police in Berlin, everyone would lose her bike. Who here doesn't own a stolen bike?
  
  If you don't want your bike stolen, don't provide a market for stolen bikes by buying one.

  Posted by Experience October 31, 2011 20:52:20

• Nothing moral about it

  Isnt it amazing how even scum like this can justify it to themselves that their decrepit and harmful behaviour is somewhat 'noble'.
  
  If anything though Berlin needs fahrrad polizei as they have in Münster and München to catch scum like him.
  
  

  Posted by Youdeservetimeinjail October 31, 2011 16:09:29

• replies

  @anon: Don't be patronising. I don't think he's the only bike thief in town - it's just very distressing to read that someone's stealing bikes (and causing so much distress) for fun as he didn't even need the money!
  
  @guy in the article: I am glad you have stopped stealing bikes. I hope it is for real.

  Posted by chris October 29, 2011 20:57:14

• i hear you

  i hear you but i dont steal bikes anymore.. i was talking about experiences from years ago. i have nothing to be ashamed of..i live a normal unassisted life.......your worried about the wrong things..

  Posted by guy in the article October 29, 2011 19:13:29

• What is wrong with you?

  I know people are angry are about loosing their bikes, and this seems like a probable platform for you to vent your anger but don't be naive to think that this guy is the ONLY bike thief in the city.

  Posted by Anon October 28, 2011 14:56:13

• sad wanking shithead

  I am an ex-pat working in Berlin and had my bike stolen when I went to Hauptbahnhof to do some shopping in the supermarket there as it is one of the few places open in a Sunday. The aggravation and inconvenience caused was unbelievable and the police do not seem too interested, which is a stupid shame. But far from being a harmless crime, it really annoyed me that someone can simply come and steal my only means of free transport in Berlin. How would you like it if someone came to your home and stole your best clothes, or something that you need every day and you cannot afford to buy a replacement? My bike was a present from my girlfriend and she saved for a year to help me buy it so you are a wanker to just come and screw up my life for your few Euros. You are just a cheap imitation of a man claiming Hartz IV from a country that is feeding and housing you and instead of being ashamed of that, you are stealing and hurting other people who are paying the taxes that support scum like you. And you dare boast you often don't even need the money! Well, people need their bikes and you have no right to steal something that people need.

  Posted by chris October 28, 2011 09:19:36

• Twat

  Self-regarding egotistical wanker. However the editorial decision behind publishing this crap is highly questionable; I doubt if I'll be purchasing your publication again.

  Posted by Marco October 27, 2011 19:17:03

• Fool!

  What a fool. It's enough to give humans a bad name.This interview should be reported to the authorities, and I know just who's going to do that.

  Posted by Marco October 27, 2011 18:08:05

• thrown in the canal

  let's hope so
  what goes around comes around...

  Posted by Dave October 27, 2011 17:13:16

• what?

  can you read? because you certainly can't write. I'm a native english speaker and I have a very hard time understanding most of what you wrote. Also, consider the possibility that many people choose to have bikes -instead of, or in addition to cars. Not because they can't afford a car, but because they make the healthier, better for the environment choice. i grew up in the US and to live in a city where bike riding is easy and safe is a HUGE advantage to life here. It's disappointing that you can't respect that very special culture, and instead promote an attitude of fear and paranoia, saying that the solution is to buy a better lock. It seems like you would be better off back in Detroit with that attitude.

  Posted by October 26, 2011 17:11:22

• Its me the guy in the article

  I I find everyones comments very interesting.... the article was not written by me or edited by me..i was interviewed about my past. im not such the bike theif anymore. ! things were taken out of order and i dont care. i helped someone write an article thats the only reason i did it. not to glorify anything... It has nothing to do with not being able to speak german or knocking women up haha.....i did it for fun when i was younger. so what!!! your bike got stolen boo hoo bitch buy a car or get a better job or i dont know do whatever to make sure you dont need a fucking bike...buy a real fucking lock for your bike.. stop being cheap pussies hiding behind your keyboards and imagining yourself putting your bitch-made hands on me. you wouldnt put a hand on the police. ive been beaten up by police in the police station in berlin for just trying to get help way before i needed to steal a bike...so fuck anybody who has an idea about anything...your ignorant.. your pussy cats on the street. you wouldnt save a fly from a fog... im happy i could make you stupid fucks feel better about yourselves.. and i dont know what a hipster is... but if i look at you and i dont like you maybe your one of them..... OK ii cant wait to see what people have to say...

  Posted by bike theif October 26, 2011 15:13:03

• i hate you

  i am an american also living in Berlin, and i'd like to first thank you for stealing my bike last night, and secondly and more significantly, for making americans look stupid and immoral.
  "In Hamburg there's more respect"??? what the fuck does that mean? you are the only one being disrespectful.
  You talk about providing a service to this city, but also admit that you're selling to "pussies" and tourists." You're on welfare, and taking the personal property of innocent people in the city-so how exactly how are providing a service? it seems like you are just taking-both bikes and unemployment funding.
  You are absolutely disgusting. And embarrassing. I hate you.

  Posted by October 25, 2011 23:06:47

• maybe i should come looking for you

  on Kottbusser Bridge and use those cutters on a few fingers. thanks for taking our bike last night.

  Posted by fuck you October 25, 2011 22:39:41

• Lifting the veil

  Like so many ExBerliner pieces, it would've benefited from a capable editor. Still, I was interested in hearing how a Berlin bicycle thief thinks. Anonymous stories like this ran in the press in Amsterdam where I lived. Bike theft there is a real plague – something like 200,000 a year, much higher than in Berlin. So how do Amsterdam owners cope? For starters they invest in quality locks. Many are worth more than their bikes. City-dwellers usually have two bikes: a beater for everyday use, and a spiffier job for weekend outings that they lock up inside.

  Posted by Bob Fiets October 25, 2011 15:23:13

• haters

  Wow. an interesting article in exberliner.. who would have thought! Moral fags should take the high road out of here.. you are reading a english magazine! If your german is so great go back to reading Mein Kampf or whatever is popular with the german youth at the moment. "Get a job" - typical middle class rhetoric, we are living in Berlin so we don't have to work, or have you forgotten that because you have been here so long?
  
  Great story, exberliner.

  Posted by another arsehoole October 25, 2011 09:46:23

• Go home

  Shame on Ex-Berliner for romanticizing this leech. If this magazine had a conscience, it would turn him in to the cops and do something positive for cyclists in this city!
  
  As for the American asshole who thinks it's cool to come to another country and steal, go home to your f%$%^ed-up country and learn some values. And grow up.

  Posted by Black swan October 25, 2011 00:56:05

• 'y'know?'

  "I couldn’t justify selling a bike for €40 to somebody – it’s just a rip-off." How about not being able to justify stealing a bike at all? And how about learning some German and get yourself a job?

  Posted by Oana October 25, 2011 00:50:04

• shame

  so he steals bikes to get high and drink all the while on the Hartz IV (or was on it). though only selling it to "hipsters" or "pussies" even though by his description he's just a self hating hipster himself (whatever the fuck a hipster is these days). Man, at least Detroit is better off without you there. You're just a thief, plain and simple - the lowest of the low in any city. You don't belong in a community or city that takes care of you in which all you do is rip it off because you knocked up some women and can't wait for your Aunt to send you money. Fuck dude, wear a condom and get a job.

  Posted by State Theatre October 24, 2011 21:21:25

• heh

  So why does this guy still have a visa? I'd rather have my bike stolen by a hobo who could use the money to drink his sorrows away than this "LOLZ I uses da money fo drugs n hoes yo!!!!" wanker. Knowing "the other side of the fence" just confirmed my desire to punch bike thieves in the face - so I guess the article did achieve something?

  Posted by feed October 24, 2011 18:36:50

• Admittedly, the opening is pretty misleading

  Where in the piece does it suggest that he's "a thief with a conscience"?

  Posted by Speed Racer October 24, 2011 17:19:54

• morality

  I have lived here for 13 years and had countless bikes stolen. I hate bike thieves like the rest of us. But it's fascinating to get into the head of a criminal. It's not like he's a genocidal war criminal, just a petty thief. So the "moral" argument against interviewing him is very weak.

  Posted by Maurice T Frank October 24, 2011 17:13:49

• Such a bad idea

  There is no other side of the fence. Hey, how about interviewing some drug dealers in Kotti next time? “Oh man, I’m happy that you bought this stuff from me because it’s cheap.” And it "cuts through shit like butter" too. Damn.
  

  Posted by Mike October 24, 2011 16:58:11

• Did someone steal your bike?

  I don't think Exberliner are asking you to think it's okay?Maybe you have misunderstood. I think it is interesting to see it from the other side of the fence

  Posted by Olivia Hazeldine October 24, 2011 16:33:22

• @b

  Don't be silly b. I think it's pretty interesting that an American is so deep into bike theft here. And it's good to know who you're up against.

  Posted by SG October 24, 2011 16:29:05

• Un.f#$king.belieable

  This is the most ridiculous thing I have a read on Exberliner. Am I supposed to think it's okay because he is only stealing certain bikes and selling to hipsters? Or that he doesn't charge that much? And why would the author even give this guy the platform to justify his behavior?

  Posted by b October 24, 2011 16:06:44