Photo by Kitty Ying (Shika Kaoin; Flickr CC)
I really hate rape jokes. I just don't find them funny. Like, sue me. I know nowadays you're not allowed to admit that you don't find anything funny, unless it's like Mario Barth or something.
But you're not allowed to admit you get offended by anything. It's like seriously uncool. Dead kids, dead hamsters, dead raped kids, dead raped hamsters, dead raped hamsters being force-fed into the mouths of almost-dead raped grannies who have been made to dress up like police officers? HA! HA! HA!
But I actually just don't find them funny.
I mean – okay, I have done it, you know, in my life. There are rape jokes I've laughed at. I saw this comedian in New York and he was all like: "I've been in this game for 10 years and so I think I'm allowed to do my first rape joke."
And then he did this whole set about when he has a female comedian sleep at his place he tries to make a non-rape atmosphere and then sometimes his attempts to make a non-rape atmosphere get kind of awkward and embarrassing and a bit rapey.
The joke was okay. It was quite funny. I admit it, it was okay. I did laugh. It was funny.
But apart from him – rape jokes, they're not funny in general. It's just like saying: on the one hand, I don't think rape exists, and on the other hand, I don't care that rape exists and on the third hand, I think it probably should exist. I think it should exist. I think more people should be raped, more often.
Most rape jokes, they're just crap. They're just cowardly and lazy, y’know what I mean? They're just complacent. They're just complacent. If they're clever enough to not be complacent – like, the non-rape atmosphere one – then they're not a proper rape joke anymore.
But I don't even hate the comedian making them – THAT much. I mean, I do hate him alright. I'm sitting there, thinking: “Fuck, I hope this cunt's sister gets raped and then murdered and then he goes to the funeral and then I can turn up, grinning and going ha, ain't this fucking hilarious? Isn't this the most fun you've had since Red Fucking Nose Day? Ha. I bet she was scared before she died. God, this is funny. Just wish it would happen more often. You cunt.”
But I don't hate him the most. I hate the other girls in the audience the most. They laugh so loud, you know? You ever noticed that, how loud girls laugh at rape jokes? And I, for one, I despise them for it. Because they don't find rape jokes funny.
They aren't laughing coz they find it funny. They're just laughing coz the joke's about rape, and because rape can only happen to women, and they're stupid sluts who think that they are different from other women, coz they can "take a joke".
And it really doesn't matter what the cunt comedian says. It doesn't matter how rubbish or lame or meaningless his joke is. In fact the lamer, the better, basically. They're laughing coz they hate women. And they think, the harder they laugh, the less likely they are to be raped.
You stupid fucking sluts. Wake up. Get some fucking self-esteem and do some fucking heckling. We don't have to take this. Grow up, wake up, shut up.
Rape isn't okay, and it's not fucking funny, either.