Amok Mama: Those mad bastards at home

Comments

• cardigans!

  Sounds like a straightjacket (is that how you spell it or is it straitjacket - either could be correct as these things are both straight and narrow). Anyway if you feel you need to buy one, you just treat yourself. NHS are probably selling them off cheap together with all mental health facilities.

  Posted by amok's old teacher December 10, 2011 00:28:42

• Not really cardigans

  I didn't really mean cardies, Miss, I meant like a zip-up made out of sweatshirt material but the German word is Strickjacke which is the same as the word for a cardy and I wrote Strickjacke because I've been here so long I don't even know what the English word is but it got changed back to cardigan due to all you thickoes what can't speak Krautspeak, like.
  
  Am coming back on the 23rd. Not long now. Gotta buy myself a Strickjacke first and then I'll be ready to get on the plane. Really looking forward to it, actually. You wanna meet up, Miss? I'll be at my mum's.

  Posted by Jacinta Again December 09, 2011 18:36:04

• Christmas greetings

  Jacinta, you must have been going to the posher parts of the U.K. as cardigans are certainly not worn in East London. I am the only person in Ilford wearing a coat and a scarf - everybody is either in a T-shirt or a vest - it's like Spain in August, even though the wind is straight from Siberia. Judging from the state of these people they are not training for the 2012 Olympics. The policeman who came to ask me if I had witnessed a burglary at the house opposite was only wearing a short sleeved shirt and it was freezing. I think it's a macho thing though Essex girls are still in short shorts.
  I will send you an ecard so you can delete it and keep your mantlepiece for important stuff, just remember to bring your vest and shorts to Stansted - oh and the fake tan.

  Posted by Amok's old teacher December 09, 2011 02:00:29

• Mince pies...

  Why doesn't anyone like them? Only last week I got the good ol' airport-issue Walkers Luxury Fruit Mince Tarts for the Germans I used to work with - Jesus, had to literally chase them with that stuff. It's not like it's sheep entrails or something...

  Posted by Mike December 06, 2011 10:55:53

• I've never watched the Queen's Speech in my life

  coming from a family of old Commies, as I do. Maybe I'll have to watch it this year, though. Just to take the edge off of my turkey-based Cold Turkey, seeing as I am now a fully fledged vegetarian.

  Posted by Yassinta December 05, 2011 16:04:45

• Have to agree

  Sounds all very familar to say the least ! And I stop a very long time ago maybe am sad bastard but to hear my ma count all the cards she got which goes into the hundreds really ! Drives me mad. And the pretend for a day that everything is okay ! When its not. ! Yeah your right the English are twats ! And so is the Northern Irish cause they have the gall to stop a sensless war just because they want to go home and count their christmas cards as well. Ha ! The thing I really fucking hate about Christmas is the Fucking Queen's speach and then after some fucking shity fucking Movie that been shown time after time again,and again.. I'd rather be alone and then I can think about what it means to have traveled a whole year. And what I've learned. And what I won't do again. But when one has child then " That's a horse of different colour..my favor movie at Christmas " Wizard Of Oz.

  Posted by Stephen Hannah December 05, 2011 14:38:10

• totally agree with you

  no turkey for you though this year Miss!

  Posted by December 05, 2011 13:46:45

• Expletive-tastic

  Fuck shit bastard fucking bullshit fuck crap.
  That's your writing, that is.
  Why not just do away with the non-expletives and save us all the bother of attempting to find the article in amongst all the swearwords?
  Sigh.

  Posted by ella December 05, 2011 12:58:08