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October 21, 2011

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Well, what to write about this week? Nothing much has happened in Germany. Angela Merkel, in a triumph of the imagination, has invented another new way of creating fake money to give to bankers. This time, she's attaching "levers" to the "facility" to make it worth not €440 billion, but €2 trillion.

She is presenting her new design in Brussels this weekend, where the Eurozone finance ministers are going to fix pulleys to the levers (facilitating the creation of €7.6 zillion), gears to the pulleys (generating €9 silmarillion in lending power), and then Europe will be able to buy four galactic megafalcons which we can use to finally invade and annex America and impose socialism there, ruled by the King of Belgium. America should have the lot: Grundeinkommen, free healthcare and subsidized theatre that is deliberately over-intellectual and really hard to understand.

In fact, so little has happened that Peter Ramsauer has got into the news again. There's nothing anyone can do to stop him. He's a righteous machine. Last week it's terrorists, this week it's cyclists. The transport minister suggested that if those idiots don't stop giving themselves serious head injuries all the time, we'll have to make them wear helmets.

This produced a spew of rage on The Local's comments section. "Typical Germany," spluttered “sparki”. "If there's a law to be made they'll make it. Like not being able to wash your car, cut the grass on Sunday or cross the road when the light is red but there's not a car in sight. Take away all free will." That's right, sparki, it's all coming. Once we get those megafalcons, you're not allowed anywhere near the fucking lawnmower.

Interestingly, as the debate on The Local unfolded, the venom was spread equally between the a posteriori evil of health and safety regulations and the a priori evil of cycling. If there's one thing that right-wing people hate more than big government, it's cyclists. "Forget helmets," begins “toemag”, trying to stay calm. "They should test the riders ability or in Germany the seemingly inability of bicyclists to properly share the road. Everyone over here fancies themselves a lance Armstrong in the le tour de France." (Both quotes sic, obviously.)

Eventually these people will simply pop with rage and die, like beetles in a frying pan. But before they do, they, like everyone else, will have to admit that the Linke were right all along.

Gregor knows.

by

October 21, 2011

Comments (2)

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People Are......

I'm am bit late to comment on this article from Konrad Werner. But I still have a valid question about it. Is the writer actually PAID to write this stuff? I would consider looking for the employment office for an application myself to whomever does pay him if that is true..................

Thomas Urich more than 2 years ago

Can't wait

until the King of Belgium becomes the Socialist head of state of the United Soviet Union of America

Lisa more than 2 years ago

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