While on a mission to confiscate some nukes from the usual bunch of pesky Arabs, an elite group of U.S. commandos called The JOEs are forced to go rogue when a man disguised as their president (Jonathon Pryce) turns the U.S. military against them and obliterates most of their team.
It seems even bigger things are afoot too as the Cobra Commander – the JOE’s arch nemesis – escapes from his underground prison and begins to hatch his evil plans. The JOEs must regroup and reload before the Cobra has the chance to unleash the mysterious Project Zeus and rule the world etc.
Expectations were never going to be too high for this one. The Rock stars as someone called Roadblock and there’s a serious amount of “AMERICA, FUCK YEAH” going around… and yet… it’s not so bad. Director Jon M. Chu, the man apparently behind the Step Up sequels, whips up some solid high-stakes action sequences; The RZA shows up briefly to do his quaint Shao Lin thing and Jonathon Pryce gives a seductively slimy turn as a villainous U.S. prez who even squeezes in a decent Bono gag.
All that said, we shouldn’t be getting too far ahead of ourselves – after all, it’s still the sequel to a film based on some fairly unremarkable toys – but maybe don’t go running for the hills just yet.
G.I. Joe: Retaliation | Directed by Jon M. Chu (USA, 2013) with Dwayne Johnson, Channing Tatum, Jonathon Pryce. Starts March 28