When I’m not vacillating between cheap white and slightly-less-cheap brown mushrooms at Lidl, I’m pocketing jumbo shrimp at corporate trade fairs; in aspic they can last into the next season. They’re not the only shrimp with an extended shelf life. A couple of months ago, I crashed an Adidas Fashion Week party after staring at skewers of asparagus through frosted glass; the diminutive Pharrell Williams was the guest-of-honour and, though older than 40, was as well maintained as any frozen seafood I have encountered. The same can be said for his career, which is sort of like what Elvis’ would have been like if his comeback had been bigger than his initial onslaught of fame. And if Elvis had possessed the capability of writing a song. Both appear fond of showgirls, however.