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  • Amok Mama: Is Thilo Sarrazin a racist arsehole?

Politics

Amok Mama: Is Thilo Sarrazin a racist arsehole?

Jacinta Nandi likes enticing people into meaningless, pointless and unhelpful conversations. Especially about Thilo Sarrazin.

So, I’m sitting with my mate Jürgen in the Bordrestaurant of a Deutsche Bahn train. My mate Jürgen sometimes gets pissed off with me for wanting to have meaningless, pointless and unhelpful conversations. I don’t know why, I find everything I want to talk about really meaningful and totally helpful and, erm, full of points. But he doesn’t, and sometimes he can get kind of narky about it.

“I was reading the BILD yesterday, yeah, and I saw this really interesting article, actually,” I tell him.

He looks over his shoulder worriedly and then hisses at me frantically: “Keep your voice down, Jacinta. Someone might hear you.”

“About Thilo Sarrazin,” I say.

“Yeah?” He says.

“That Deniz Yücel dude – you know, the sexy one – he said he hoped Sarrazin’d die next time he had a stroke. Well, I’m paraphrasing. But that was more or less what he said. In the Taz. So he got done. Well, the Taz got done. They have to pay him €20,000. It’s a lot of money, isn’t it? It’s a bit strange, because just the other week Kurt Krömer said this other dude went to brothels but they said that was okay.”

“Yes. Well, it wasn’t the same judge. It was a different judge, a different case. This is the kind of conversation I find really frustrating, to be honest, Jacinta. Sometimes I think you should have become a BILD journalist yourself. You’re so emotional and irrational sometimes. There is absolutely no need to compare these two totally unconnected cases.”

“So,” I say. “I think it was probably racism, huh? Either subconscious or conscious racism. That’s why Kurt Krömer’s allowed to call your man a Puffgänger but Yücel’s not allowed to wish Thilo Sarrazin was dead. Because Krömer’s German but Yücel’s a Turk. I mean, I know he’s German really, but the judge probably didn’t see it like that. Because you know. He was either subconsciously or consciously racist.”

Jürgen sighs softly. “You always draw me into these meaningless conversations, Jacinta. You always, always manage to draw me in. Well, the thing is, it’s probably also a question of irony, isn’t it? Irony and sarcasm. The judges – or the judge – in the Yücel case probably thought he wasn’t really being that ironic. They probably thought he did actually wish Thilo Sarrazin dead.”

“Yeah,” I say. “That’s a good point, Jürgen! You’re so clever sometimes. I mean, everyone wishes Thilo Sarrazin dead, don’t they? I mean, all normal ironic people. I mean, I literally don’t have any friends who don’t wish Thilo Sarrazin would die. A little bit.”

“No,” says Jürgen. “Me neither.”

“I mean, there must be some people in Germany who don’t want him to die. A few. But I never come into contact with them.”

“No,” says Jürgen. “Well, I mean, we might have some friends who don’t wish him dead but they’d never admit it to us. They’d be too ashamed.”

“We don’t,” I say. “The only friends we have who don’t wish him dead are people who don’t live in Germany and don’t know who he is. Come on, Jürgen. You’d have to have a heart of stone not to wish him a little bit dead. You’d have to have a heart of stone not to be slightly cheered by the thought of that. You’d have to be the kind of heartless monster who doesn’t like online petitions or Christmas or April Fools jokes or videos on YouTube where kids don’t want to pick up a bowl or they start crying because their dad says they’re not a single lady.

“Well, yes,” says Jürgen. “Although you do sign a lot of online petitions, Jacinta. I was thinking of suggesting that you limit it to ten a week.”

I nod. “Yeah, I do sign a lot,” I say. “I sign two kinds of online petitions. The ones I care about – rape and racism, but mainly rape, basically. I really care about those. I couldn’t not sign them. And then circus dog ones. Well, you know. Dogs, donkey, elephants. They’re treated really appallingly – they really are. But I don’t care. I just don’t. I don’t care about those circus dogs, and I feel guilty for not caring, and then I sign them anyway, to assuage my guilty conscience.”

“Hmmn,” says Jürgen.

“Also some of my militantly vegan Facebook friends who invite me to sign the circus dog petitions are a bit scary, you know? It’s easier for everyone if I just sign them.”

“You could probably write a novel if you stopped spending all your time on social media, signing online petitions.”

“So,” I say. “Jürgen. In my Taz column. I’m not allowed to say I want Sarrazin to die, huh?”

“No, you probably shouldn’t. Just to be on the safe side.”

“But I’m allowed to call him racist? Aren’t I?”

Jürgen looks totally confused by my question.

“Of course you are,” he says. “Why wouldn’t you be?”

“I mean, legally,” I say.

“Of course,” he answers.

“But,” I lean forward and whisper dramatically. “Am I allowed to call him a ‘racist arsehole’?”

Jürgen tuts exasperatedly.

“You’d better ask a lawyer, Jacinta. This is the kind of conversation you force me into and I just find it unbearably frustrating, to be honest. I’m not a lawyer. This conversation is totally meaningless and unhelpful. Ask a lawyer. Don’t ask me. I have no idea. I haven’t studied law.”

“I think I probably am,” I say.

“Yes,” he says crossly. “I think you probably are, too.”

“Yes,” I say. “Thilo Sarrazin. What a racist arsehole. Das wird man doch noch sagen dürfen.”

And then Jürgen laughs a little bit, although he tries not to laugh too much, because he’s trying to look all pissed off and stern and disapproving and that.