Photo by Ana Garcia de la Blanca
Nadja Sayej is the playful host and creator of Artstars*, a gonzo video blog in which she ‘penetrates’ the art scene. Back in Toronto she wrote for newspapers, but in 2009 she took her love for art and her bubbly wit to the camera, displaying her larger than life personality alongside some bombastic cleavage. Within a year of moving to Berlin, the Canadian’s generous bosom had become a fixture of Berlin expat folklore.
Describe your boobs.
They’re a size 40DD (90F, German size). They’re big watermelons. And they have names. Itchy and Scratchy.
From The Simpsons?
Yeah. Like in my web TV show, I have a personality; I have large breasts, and there is a lot of extremism, bordering on a comic quality, so this kind of contributes to that. I’ve had guys say, “Sorry, I don’t think my hands are big enough.”
But don’t men like it?
A lot of guys love my breasts.
How about the ladies?
Girls love them too. I’ll be at a club and some drunk girl will be like, “Oh my god, can I touch them?” And she’ll just start caressing my breasts. It seems to be an okay form of sexual harassment, if it’s a girl. I think it’s funny – I feel like a tourist attraction!
Are they... real?
I get asked that a lot. I was at .HBC and these two girls came up to me and said, “Hi, we’re from Poland, we have something that we want to ask you,” and I just stopped them and said, “They’re real.”
So this just happened naturally?
I prayed for these when I was 13. I prayed so hardcore. “Please Jesus, please give me big breasts.” My prayers were answered, and I was like “Yes!”
But then your prayers kept on being answered...?
I was like, “Wait a second, they don’t need to get any bigger...! Stoooop!”.
So it was not always easy?
I let this hold me back for a long time; I felt ashamed, like I had to hide myself. I always thought it meant I was fat. That said, I’m a size 14, same as Marilyn Monroe, which was accepted back then as a beautiful figure. But you know, 2012, different story.
Did you ever consider breast reduction?
I wanted one for a long time when I was a teenager, but then a friend of mine, Carlo, said, “Don’t do it, that’s the way God made you.” I figured out the wonderful world of sports bras and took it from there.
It’s hard to believe you wear sports bras. Cleavage, red-hot lips: you look very feminine!
I should show you pictures of what I looked like before. So weird – glasses, hair pulled back, no makeup, bulky sweaters, hiding my breasts – just kind of like a nerdy writer. I felt I had to conform to what a journalist should be, because it made me smart. Because to show your breasts is not intelligent. I didn’t get past this until I was 27. I was a late bloomer.
What caused the transition?
My TV show. I interview art celebrities. After we did the first episode in April 2009, I watched it and I was like, “Oh my god, I look like shit on camera.” So I had to learn. I went to the gay men in my life – and the drag queens. I discovered you have to work it out with your natural ingredients. Whether you are a size zero, or have pouty lips, are blonde or have an accent – whatever you have, you have to work it.
And how did your friends and family back home respond to this new you?
A friend was touring with his band here. I walked into his hotel room, and he was like, “Oh my god, you even look German now.” I don’t know what that means, but I definitely feel the German influence. Or the Berlin one.
Which is what?
Up the ante on the sex appeal and take it from 10 to 11 and fuckin’ work it!
Big tits – big brain?
Believe it or not I’ve actually got more brains than boobs. Breasts, like cherries, are the icing on the cake. Never the cake itself.
Do you use them as a survival tool?
Great place to store my iPhone.
Tell us the worst compliment about your boobs?
Some guy at the Weinerei in Prenzlauer Berg offered me €200 to cum on my tits. He was drunk. I just said, “No, thanks.”
How do people respond to your appearance?
I’ve become a party sensation. People come up and say ‘oh my god’ and ask to take pictures.
Would you recommend an insecure girl to consider getting bigger breasts?
If you’re thinking of going into porn, yeah. Because I think that porn stars are hotter with fake boobs. But if you’re going to be a regular person, it’s not worth it.
Do you have any boob role models?
Pamela Anderson! Once I opened a copy of Playboy with her on the cover, and it was an interview with her, it wasn’t just a photo shoot. And she was like, “Playing dumb is easy, because that’s what guys expect you to do.” She actually came across as a smart woman! So I admire a woman like that, who’s not afraid of putting herself – and her boobs – out there. Criticising is easy, but doing work that’s worthy of criticism is more important. And she does work that’s worthy of that.
But seriously, are you really never harassed?
I think guys know not to fuck with me, because I carry around a confidence that is pretty obvious. Maybe I look like a drag queen; maybe I’m too confident. But I’m not as harassed as a lot of my blonde, skinny friends are.
Where do you get all that confidence?
My mom! She recovered from breast cancer, so that’s another reason why I feel it’s okay to show myself off, because I saw her go through hell. So I like to show what I have, because they may not be here forever!
Is she proud of you?
She’s on my mailing list, and every time I release a video, she says, “You better cover yourself up, so no one gets the wrong idea.”
What’s most difficult?
Not to get lost in the ego of the size of my breasts. I still have the rest of my body, my face and my eyes. I need to make sure I always have balance and perspective. Whenever I meet guys, I wear something nice and classy, so you can see my shape, but not showing off. When guys see my breasts naked for the first time, they’re like, “Oh my god, I’ve never seen anything so big before.” I don’t even need to try to turn them on – the guys who make it to the finish line.