May 23, 2012

Do you like this?

The graffiti says, “Kreuzberg bleibt unfreundlich!” – Berlin’s edgiest district stays unfriendly! Need proof? How about the hasty eviction of the BMW Guggenheim Lab from its planned home across from Barbie Deinhoff’s. The Guggenheim chose an empty lot overlooking the Spree as the landing pad for its high-tech mobile pavilion devoted to the cities of tomorrow. Six weeks of events were planned with the theme, “Confronting Comfort”... but then Kreuzbergers made things uncomfortable and the Lab changed course for more hospitable Prenzlauer Berg.

Cranky activists were pissed about BMW’s anti-union practices, but they might have questioned the Lab’s mission: earnest effort to enlighten the public, or cynical ploy to inject two stodgy institutions with some Berlin buzz? Safely housed inside the walls of Pfefferberg, the Guggenheim’s international experts promise dozens of talks, tours and screenings exploring the city’s future, but Berlin’s already got an army of full-time, home-grown planning wonks who host almost-daily chat-fests. Will the Lab be more of the same, just with snazzier graphics?

Most cruelly, the Lab will emphasise “participation”, blinding its audience to the hard reality that, for 99.99 percent of us, urban planning is a spectator sport. For those who can effect change, it’s more crisis management – piling sandbags against the shifting tides of politics, economics and demographics. Let’s assume the Guggenheim-BMW Lab’s visitation is fruitful. After six weeks, it blasts off for its next stop, Bombay, leaving Berlin a paradise of comfort. As those cranky Kreuzbergers instinctively know, a more comfortable city is a more expensive one.

Berlin’s number one “comfort” today is low rent. As the city’s rough edges disappear, well-heeled German professionals flow into the now-comfy capital, happy to pay luxury rates. The Lab’s emphasis should be on the “confronting” part: seeking, trapping and killing comfort before it grows.

Here are five flavours of urban discomfort that make Berlin such a wonderful town:

CLASS WARFARE Anti-yuppie graffiti is one thing, but what about that unemployed Berliner who set fire to 102 luxury autos in 2010? For decades, Berlin’s leftists have burned buildings, cars and even baby carriages to ward off bourgeois invasions. Has it worked? The May 1st riots have morphed into a tourist draw. Film star Daniel Brühl laments he can’t park a Ferrari on the street, but he’d never give up his Kreuzberg flat.

BAD TASTE Most clueless landlords are happy to ‘improve’ their historic buildings by ripping out century-old details, but mega-landlord Harry Gerlach adds his own touch: alarming colour schemes (photo). Along with Turkish wedding dress shops and day-glo bubble tea emporiums, Gerlach’s garish buildings in Neukölln and Wedding are guaranteed to scare off any self-respecting Bavarian highbrow.

XENOPHOBIA It’s no secret that most Germans like multiculturalism on their dinner plates but not living next door. Berlin’s biggest rent increases have been in the almost-all-white former East. The large – and growing! – throngs of Turks, Arabs, Africans and other non-Germans in Neukölln, Kreuzberg and Wedding are a good omen for continued low rents.

FILTH Sidewalks and parks strewn with doggie doo and cast-off fridges are like a deflector shield against an invasion of German Tiger Moms, so it’s comforting news that the city’s cash-strapped districts are cutting their cleaning budgets. Even Prenzlauer Berg announced they’ve cancelled the cleaning contract for Mauerpark starting May 1. City Councilman Jens-Holger Kirchner politely requests park visitors to pick up after themselves.

POVERTY Our city may be “poor but sexy”, but a lot of Berliners are just plain poor. The city has the highest unemployment rate in Germany, around 13 percent, almost twice the national average. It’s simple economics – landlords have to cater to the market they have. So as you enjoy the comfort of your (still relatively) low rent, say a prayer for those welfare families whose suffering makes it possible.

The BMW Guggenheim Lab will offer public programs from June 15 to July 29. For details, see

Mauerpark is home to Berlin’s best flea market, but more importantly it’s one of Berlin’s last refuges of untamed freedom. Help stop the city’s plan to sell off chunks for apartments – sign this online petition:


May 23, 2012

Comments (6)

Comment Feed

Soulless Berlin

I've been to many countries and many cities and lived in new york, paris, london as well as mumbai and zurich...but when i visited Berlin I was most disappointed. The city simply has no soul, german people have got to be the most lifeless, boring, xenophobic, sad and miserable people in the world...their country has a seriously low rate of birth even for western standards and yet they have all this attitude of superiority...but anyway berlin is a very very sad place to live....despite being the capital of germany, it has nothing compared to paris, london or new fact no german city has a soul to think of it really. I find germans also the most unfriendly people in the world....they lack any enthusiasm for life and the future...i think german society yas become very mechanical and germans have started behaving more like robots than humans....all of europe is changing and the countries that open up, accept the world today are better off....but germany seems a very closed minded extremely sad place to live...I hated Berlin..not for anything else but the people.....they really suck....and have absolutely no flair for life at all.

Worldtraveller more than 1 years ago


A punk-run cupcake shop and metal-head whiskey tasting = Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle. Yep that pretty much sums up the entire content of Exberliner. I guess you missed the long articles about breast cancer, racism in theatre and the plight of a transgender girl - to name a few recent stories. Or is that stuff too Carrie for you as well?

ASD more than 1 years ago

apartment prices rising

In every city I've lived in I've seen apartment prices steadily rising
surely that's on of the main points of Western Consumer culture - to get steadily richer from the service you supply - whether that's through being a landlord or being an artist. We all expect to earn steadily more as we get older, since we become more skilled at what we do, have higher expenses (e.g., starting a family)
I don't understand why people expect Berlin to be different. It's the CAPITAL CITY of one of the wealthiest countries in Europe!!!

If we really want to keep this city the way we like it, every single one of us will have to stop being greedy, even if that greed is only to have just a little more. Greed is the thing that's got society into the big mess it's in in the whole of the Western world.

Dave the Chimp more than 1 years ago

Reality Check

Bavarian highbrows my ass. Have you read your own paper lately? It's all about cupcake shops and whiskey tastings and of course your well-overpriced rental listings. Do you really think you still have a toe planted in an old school Kreuzberg audience while you continously promote the Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle that is displacing them? It's time to take a hard look in the mirror xberliner. I believe you'll see that there is a clear line between unbiased journalism and outright hypocrisy.

evn more than 1 years ago

"The Art of Unfriendliness"

Dear Dan Borden,
Just read your article "The Art of Unfriendliness" and couldn't agree more with almost all your points. I've lived here for almost 10 years now and have seen the apartment prices rising steadily. Your "five flavours of urban discomfort" gave me some interesting things to think about.
Thanks for the great article!
Martin Arnaudet

Martin Arnaudet more than 1 years ago


I just bought an appartment close to Oranienplatz. I'm renting now a Harry Gerlach Flat... burn me...

ed more than 1 years ago


April 21, 2014


April 22, 2014


April 23, 2014


April 24, 2014


April 25, 2014


April 26, 2014


April 27, 2014

flatrentals sprocket 300px