Blog Entries

Amok Mama: Of flowers and feminism

Jacinta Nandi thinks that since men do so many horrific, despicable things to women, she doesn't have the time or energy to get het up when they give her a bunch of daffodils.

May 22, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (1 Comments)

Fawlty Towers

Amok Mama: Don't mention it

So, Jacinta Nandi doesn't want her kid to grow up to be the kind of German who thinks the worst consequence of the Holocaust is that every now and again German tourists in Bournemouth get some schoolkids doing the Hitlergruß at them. Boo-HOO.

May 15, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (6 Comments)

Amok Mama: Anti-kissing programme

Jacinta Nandi's son isn't even a teenager yet but he's already put her on a very strict anti-kissing programme. Things can only get, er, even worse.

May 8, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (2 Comments)

Amok Mama: I love Schienenersatzverkehr

Jacinta realizes that she takes some things for granted. There are plenty of nice things about Germany that England doesn't provide – she's just been here so long she sometimes takes them for granted. Or just plain forgets about them.

Apr 25, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog

Amok Mama: I'm a crap mum and I know I am

Jacinta Nandi is a crap mum – but she still has some top tips on dealing with fussy eaters.

Apr 17, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (4 Comments)

Amok Mama: Let's all fuck the police – literally

Jacinta Nandi find law enforcement officers to be working class and she finds working class to be incredibly sexy. Follow that logic and you'll see why she wants to fuck every cop in Germany. Except the racist ones.

Apr 10, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (2 Comments)

Amok Mama: Just how fat are German kids really?

Jacinta Nandi wants the proof! The bollocks claim that people that receive Hartz IV are unhealthier than those who don't gets Nandi's scrutinizing evaluation. And if the government has a problem with people's eating habits, make some laws.

Apr 3, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (1 Comments)

Amok Mama: Hipster hate

Hipsters – they're like unicorns, says Jacinta Nandi. We all know what they are, but nobody will actually admit to being one. Or something.

Mar 27, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (7 Comments)

Fehlerchen

Amok Mama: Those dense, black barbed wire letters

Jacinta Nandi is really rubbish at reading in German. Nichtdestotrotz, here is her Amok-Mama-Book-Club-Recommendation.

Mar 20, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (1 Comments)

Amok Mama: Glotzen is not okay

What's more important? Letting your kids express all their curiosity about disabled people, or teaching them some fucking manners? Jacinta Nandi know what she thinks – she thinks glotzen is not okay.

Mar 13, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (15 Comments)

Amok Mama: Gillian versus Nigella – my humble opinion

Does being a vegan make you old before your time? No, says Jacinta Nandi, you've just swallowed down the misogyny of modern-day society as if it was cum and you were Taylor Bow on the Internet. Grow up, girls.

Mar 6, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (8 Comments)

Amok Mama: Babies with lots of Migrationshintergrund

Jacinta Nandi wants to have Deniz Yücel's babies – lots of babies with lots of Migrationshintergrund. Plus, she thinks Wulff was brilliant and that Gauck's an idiot. And her boyfriend agrees with her – except for the bit about Denis Yücel.

Feb 28, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (2 Comments)

Müllermilch

Photo by Like_the_Grand_Canyon (Flickr CC)

Amok Mama: Slightly libellous

You know when you're with a sensible German boy at the supermarket, having a really reasonable conversation, and he just keeps on bringing out the devil in you? Jacinta Nandi does.

Feb 21, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (4 Comments)

American flag

Photo by Mike Baird (mikebaird; Flickr CC)

Amok Mama: It's the Americans I really hate

When Jacinta's in Germany, she technically does what the Germans do, or really what everyone everywhere does... except the Americans.

Feb 7, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (10 Comments)

Joan Rivers

Photo by David Shankbone (david_shankbone; Flickr CC)

Amok Mama: German men are fucking hypocrites

Jacinta Nandi wants to get Botox and fake tits. Before you call her shallow, go and shag a granny, you fucking hypocrites.

Jan 30, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (11 Comments)

Rome

Photo by Russell Yarwood (ryarwood; Flickr CC)

Amok Mama: When in Rome, don't actually massacre Christians

What's more annoying: having a noisy neighbour or being a noisy neighbour? And when in Rome, should you ALWAYS do as the Romans do? Jacinta Nandi discovers that you shouldn't.

Jan 23, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (5 Comments)

Horses

Photo by Squeezyboy (Flickr CC)

Amok Mama: Can you be a feminist and still let boys jizz on your face?

Jacinta Nandi ponders her rather specific New Year's resolutions and finds out why she might want to keep them more vague. It could lead to some glorious horse theft... but not to facials.

Jan 16, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (4 Comments)

Jacinta

Amok Mama: I love you, Wulffy

Jacinta Nandi loves Christian Wulff so much that she sent him this picture of her sucking her toe as a sign of her love and gratitude and respect and stuff like that.

Jan 9, 2012 by in The Berlin Blog (1 Comments)

Hamster

Photo by Kitty Ying (Shika Kaoin; Flickr CC)

Amok Mama: So sue me – I really hate rape jokes

There are very few boundaries that Jacinta Nandi will not to cross in her humour. For some reason, one of those boundaries is sexual violence. She hates it and she hates those that use it for fun and she hates those who laugh at it.

Dec 19, 2011 by in The Berlin Blog (7 Comments)

Angela Merkel

Photo by RuckSackKruemel (Flickr CC)

Amok Mama: Angela Merkel is a sexy lady

Jacinta Nandi has followed her gut and discovered through her brilliance as a language teacher the reasons that Angela Merkel is actually fuckable. And why a good percentage of us are dicks.

Dec 12, 2011 by in The Berlin Blog (5 Comments)

English Christmas crackers

English Christmas crackers. Photo by net_efekt (Flickr CC)

Amok Mama: Those mad bastards at home

Jacinta Nandi is so busy being shocked by the mad Germans and their mad habits and thoughts and stuff, that sometimes she forgets that it's not like the people who live in England are exactly normal in the head either.

Dec 5, 2011 by in The Berlin Blog (8 Comments)

Scientology

Photo by RedPeas (Flickr CC)

Amok Mama: Can Germans and non-Germans ever really be friends?

Jacinta Nandi wants to know whether Germans and others can be friends without the haunt of vaguely creepy religious sects.

Nov 28, 2011 by in The Berlin Blog (1 Comments)

Amok Mama: Holocaust-based faux pas

Jacinta spent the weekend in Sachsen-Anhalt and she would've had the time of her life if it hadn't been for this one Holocaust faux pas she made.

Nov 21, 2011 by in The Berlin Blog (4 Comments)

Amok Mama: Big dreams

What would you do if you were a millionaire? If you're a TEFL teacher like Jacinta Nandi, this is literally the million-dollar question.

Nov 14, 2011 by in The Berlin Blog (1 Comments)

Amok Mama: Sticks and stones will break my bones

When Jacinta Nandi was a kid, and the kids at school said cruel things about her, her mum used to always say: "Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you." Her mum was lying.

Nov 8, 2011 by in The Berlin Blog (1 Comments)