Can’t face the treacherous journey on the U-Bahn after a long night out? The BVG seems to have a new solution – in September they paired up with tech company ViaVan and launched their Berlkönig ridesharing service. With Uber-style ease, you can download the app and order a snazzy Mercedes minivan (aptly decorated with the yellow BVG-heart on the bonnet) to pick you up within 100 metres of your location. After linking up with your credit card or PayPal account, the app will give you your ETA and charge you €1.50 per kilometre (€4 minimum) or less if you travel with friends; the 90 operating cars can pick up a maximum of six passengers headed in the same direction. A trip from Berghain to Schönhauser Allee, for example, will cost between €5 to €8, less than half of what you would pay for a regular cab. Sounds neat, except for when you live outside their operational bubble of Mitte, Prenzlauer Berg and Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg. For some inconceivable reason, the service will take you to the Michelangelokiez in Weißensee but not to Neukölln! And if you live in Wedding, you’ll have to get off at Gesundbrunnen station and switch to the bus… Who came up with this? We reckon it must be the same mastermind who picked the name “Berlkönig”: in Goethe’s ballad Der Erlkönig a horseman’s child dies in transit. “Weil wir dich lieben” indeed.