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Seymour Gris: Sexy Spargel Queens

Every year, Beelitz near Berlin picks its hottest damsel to represent the juicy albino stalks coming soon to a plate near you. This year's choice is a PR disaster.

Image for Seymour Gris: Sexy Spargel Queens
The 2010 Asparagus Queen. Photo courtesy of Beelitz

Every year, Beelitz near Berlin picks its hottest damsel to represent the juicy albino stalks coming soon to a plate near you. This year’s choice is a PR disaster.

Sorry to be blunt: the 2010 Spargelkönigin (“Asparagus Queen”) Carina Wunderlich isn’t such a babe. The 2009 girl Karolin Wegener was far more photogenic (see left) – and had a great asparagus pizza recipe.

What’s the problem: aren’t there enough hot girls in your crap Brandenburg village? Haven’t you people heard of marketing? Why can’t you just fake it and import a cute girl from Berlin, if you’ve run out of attractive local women?

You walk around in fake farm costumes – as if German people actually picked asparagus anymore – so what’s the problem? The Poles and Urkrainians do all the real work on the Spargel farms, anyway, because unemployed Brandenburg people are too lazy.