You might not want to like Holzmarkt because it keeps that same smug sense of self-satisfaction its predecessor Bar25 had while adding in all the trappings of modern yuppiedom: a co-working space, a yoga studio, a reservations-only fine dining restaurant, an artisanal bakery, a kindergarten. Goodbye, drugged-up party clowns on trampolines; hello, actual children on trampolines. Also, you’d think a place that charges €4.50 for tap beer would be able to afford toilet paper. But which would you rather have taking up those 18,000sqm of riverside real estate – yet another sleek luxury apartment bloc, or a collectively managed, Swiss-funded utopian treehouse/urban garden/what-have-you where Berliners young and old can watch the sun set over the Spree from a comfy beach chair? Yeah, we thought so. And if it’s really all too much, you can always swim across the river and toke up at Teepeeland.