Amok Mama: Germansplaining



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This guy is chewing my ears off...

... that's what German women call germansplaining. Der Typ hat mir ein Ohr abgekaut. I usually punish them by never talking to them again or at least as little as possible.
Just be blunt, like an old school German feminist and say: "Andreas, bitte kau' mir jetzt kein Ohr ab, reich' mir lieber mal die Salzstreuerin". By accepting his invitation, somehow, you seem to buy into his earchewing. That's why German women are sometimes fiercely refusing any attentions from German men, they know what they are trading them for: I open the door for you and then I own your ears ...

Elvira more than 7 years ago


What about Germanmansplaining?
You can witness the most terrifying and soul-destroying form of Germansplaining on Elternabend, when teachers feel they have to explain to parents (who all, without exception, went to school themselves), what their subjects are about.
I am a (non-German) teacher myself and had everything necessary said within four minutes. The longest time one of my colleagues took to Germansplain his subject was thirty minutes. The poor parents almost fell off their chairs with sleepiness, but never said a word.
There must also be such a thing as Germanlistening, I suppose. Never complain, just sit it out.

Susan more than 8 years ago


neither gender is exempt

Maurice T Frank more than 8 years ago

no such thing

as frausplaining! that's not a word! you just literally made it up!

Jacinta Nandi more than 8 years ago


........Feminism is about choice, not about conforming to a whole new set of rules for what you should and shouldn't like. It means you can be all of the above without having to explain yourself and without being judged. Your friend Andreas doesn't actually understand what feminism is, but you have the absolute freedom to enjoy listening to him mansplain without making excuses or feeling guilty.

Sara more than 8 years ago


On a scale of 1-10, how anti-feminist would it be for me to want to ask you out to dinner after this terrific article?

Kate more than 8 years ago


are TOTALLY allowed to buy me dinner

Jacinta Nandi more than 8 years ago


ich glaub das nicht. ich könnt's mir auch nicht erklären.

icke may hard more than 8 years ago


After numerous encounters in which I've found myself completely inundated with explanations of this or that, from the minutest, most banal of things to something, from time to time, I actually end up learning a thing or two; let's say, being given A-Z explanation by Germans at all things life, and I am talking about friends and just some random and plain enthusiastic Germans; I've come to the pathetic conclusion, of course, all thanks to that good old lazy trick of pure conjecture, that Germans, men and women alike, have an almost habitual desire to explain anything.

I have a tingly feeling they derive orgasmic pleasure from simply explaining just about anything and they do it with methodological thoroughness. Bless them!
Let us say, it's a quintessentially German characteristic the lack or absence of which in social encounters is like currywurst without sausage.

Divine Wonder more than 8 years ago


its annoying enough when any individual woman makes the claim that her set of feminist beliefs are the objective definition of feminism. so when when a man does it…jesus.

wow more than 8 years ago


I totally enjoy it with random German guys, but I hate it when my boyfriend Germansplains to me that my desire for sex is some throwback anti-feminist bullshit.

Those times, I'd rather be with a nice good old misogynist American guy who appreciates a good blowjob... I think some of these German boys have Germansplained themselves out of enjoying anything except explaining things...

blar more than 8 years ago

I mean,

VB ok, but Jennifer Aniston?!? Really??

Angie more than 8 years ago

I know this is quite a controversial point to make


Jacinta Nandi more than 8 years ago

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