
So, everybody thinks that I have a Hitler Jugend fetish.
I would just like to (officially) clarify things here.
I do NOT have a Hitler Jugend fetish.
I have a Jung Pioneeren fetish.
I like to have, like, Jung Pioneeren sex role-plays. So, we, like, celebrate Ernst 'Teddy' Thalmann’s birthday together and stuff. I’m like, but when’s Teddy getting here? They’re like: "Jacinta. You know he’s not a real teddy, don’t you."
Ja, ja, ich weiß schon...
And then, when they tie me up, I make them use the Pioneeren knot. I’m like: "Is that the Pioneeren knot?"
Ouch! I’m not getting out of that in a hurry, huh?
It’s OK, though, because German boys have a fetish for India so we are, like, quits. We’re the perfect mix. We’re at a party, I say I come from England. They say: "Oh, I would’ve thought Spanish or Greek or Italian or Mexican or…" I say: "Stop right there, honey. My dad is from India."
Their eyes GLOW with longing and delight. They’re like: "India? Which part of India, exactly? Could you draw me a map? And was he a Jain Hindu? How often do you go back? Shall I make you a Yogi Tee? Also known as Chai?"
And I have this photo of my Granddad with Nehru which I carry around with me at all times because I know that, basically, any German boy I show this photo to will agree to have sex with me instantly. Any German boy – East, West, any age group, any hair colour, any time, any place and any-fucking-where.
“This is your grandfather?”
“With Nehru?”
“Can I have a copy of this?”
I always say the same thing. I say: "OK. As long as you promise to look after it."
Comments (3)
Comment FeedBerliner Schnauze more than 10 years ago
Jungpioneer
Pioneer more than 10 years ago
Granddad
Konrad more than 10 years ago