I'm not offended if you buy my drink!

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Not cool

It is true that most of the time, we split the bill here 50/50. That's what happened on most of my dates. Sometimes, I also payed for the drinks, and sometimes, she did. None of these options are bad or wrong. Especially if my date is financially worse off than me, as in the example here, I'll be happy to pay. However, who pays for the drinks should NOT be based on gender, and this is why the default option is to split the bill. Because anything else would be sexist. If there are other reasons, such as the finances of the people dating, it's a different story.

And yes - insisting to pay the bill based on gender, even though your date signaled to you multiple times that they can and will pay their part will get people angry - because you are insisting on dusty gender roles.

What's really not cool though is the lie about the EC card. You are lying to get him to give you money. The argument seems to be that since women are financially worse off on average, men should compensate for that on dates. But this (extremely simplified) statistic tells us nothing about individual cases. Of course there are women who are financially better off than the men that they date. Who knows, maybe really was quite short on money because he was paying off a huge debt at the time?

Tldr: With everything that was written here, there is still no good argument why gender should be the basis of who pays for drinks. And lying to force your date to adhere to that questionable standpoint is...EXTREMELY questionable.

The Mirror 105 days ago

Don't worry

You won't have too many opportunities to get offended over someone wanting to pay for your drink.

DenierOfYourPleasure 124 days ago

just commenting to balance out the negative comments

finally someone says it! I was so glad reading this. Every point you say! I mean wtf: you belittle women, you don't fight for them in real life (like when did men protest for more Kita-Plätze and equal pay I don't remember), you don't fight toxic masculinity hence patriarchy, you earn more, don't get asked if you are planning on children at the job interview yet you fucking dare not to offer to pay for me? To everyone saying chill: I am offended and threatend and marginalized by patriarchy every day and I won't ever stop making men pay for it.

yes i know im right 309 days ago

Get some facts

"the fact that it is always – and let me repeat ALWAYS – the woman who stays home when a kid gets sick?"

Just because YOUR ex-husband never stayed at home? Why don't you get a reality check before making such claims

Person 328 days ago

Answer: She cannot multitask

She gets the check for the drinks, so there is no time to also do a reality check.

TheCheckMate 124 days ago

why?

why are you allowing this to be published, exberliner? This was painful to read. Seriously. Very backwards and totally unhelpful.

Another adult woman 339 days ago

Bingo

You got point, if they earn 30 porcent more and we want equal rights, they should pay more the bill.

camila 341 days ago

Get some facts

Actually, when men and women with the same qualifications do the same work, the pay gap almost disappears to 2%: https://www.payscale.com/data/gender-pay-gap. We've pretty much got equal rights.

The key is to back yourself and call out genuine discrimination when it happens, instead of whinging, whining and feeling sorry for yourself because you're unhappy!

Mythbuster 341 days ago

Don't take candy from strangers

A date is someone you don't know very well. Once you get to know that person that may become the case. Walking into an encounter with assumptions of an individuals salary based on gender is pretty closed minded and sexist in itself.

Adam 341 days ago

Etiquette

Wow very strong blog. Certainly where I am concerned I have no problem buying a girl some drinks. But it is always nice if I have bought a few drinks that they would offer to buy a round back. I do know that the feminist movement in Germany is strong and that's great actually of course.

Oh and it should be pointed out that I don't live in Germany :). I will be there for a visit soon and if I bump into you, as I know how small Berlin is so this is very likely, drinks on me!

Ant from Ireland 343 days ago

Wow

This is a seriously toxic attitude to have. An ugly, childish mix of entitlement and self-righteousness. Think whatever you want about Sven, I really don't see how it's his responsibility to buy you a drink because you're unhappy with your life.

Ps. I'm a woman.

Adult 345 days ago

Ugh

Just....ugh

Jennie 343 days ago

!!!

Calm down!

uwe 337 days ago

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