
Photo by Medienmagazin pro (Christliches Medienmagazin pro)
True to the principles I have developed during my tireless, passionate joining of Facebook groups, I moved Tony Blair's memoirs to the crime section of Dussmann at the weekend. Then I watched surreptitiously – all excited – for nearly 10 minutes, until a peevish employee put the former British Prime Minister's beady, manic eyes back on the latest releases shelf. Ha, that'll teach the sanctimonious, warmongering twat.
Just as I was celebrating my mischievous urban protest, I learned that George Bush has only gone and released his memoirs. And the appropriate Facebook group is already up! Honestly, there's no rest for the urban-bookshop-disorganizing-guerrilla.
Despite a good 30 seconds of strenuous thinking, I have decided there is no link between this and Wolfgang Schäuble's amusing humiliation of his spokesman Michael Offer during a press conference last week. The best bit is after the public bollocking – "Stop talking, Herr Offer, get those figures distributed." – during which you feel the sweat trickle between Offer's buttocks.
After that perineum-spasming moment (does your perineum spasm when you get bollocked by your boss? Mine does!) Schäuble comes back and starts grinning all sheepishly and suddenly he turns into the Gollum: his grin becomes stiff and frozen, his shoulders hitch up and he mutters things through his teeth half seriously and half in jest.
A few days later, Offer resigned, writing to Schäuble that he believed he no longer had the finance minister's confidence. Having made this decision, I bet he now wishes he'd said something witty at the time, like: "Chill, Ironside, these media hacks never read the press shit anyway." But he didn't. So unfortunate, but it's always that way, isn't it?
Comments (2)
Comment FeedMuscle
Konrad more than 10 years ago
Medical-biological question