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Photo from designtagebuch.de
Die Grüne
GRÜNE: Every advertising guru knows there’s no one better for convincing people of your new housing policy than a lovely old lady in a knitted jumper. Rent price limits? It’s a crazy thought that a batty woman might have, but it might just work.2 of 7
Photo from www.news4press.com.
Die Republikaner
REPUBLIKANER: Die Republikaner, you should know, are not the same as Republicans, or indeed republicans. This party veer as far right as it’s possible to go while maintaining a wafer-thin veneer of conservative respectability, a veneer which has not prevented comparisons with a certain other strongly nationalist party. They have taken a startling new tack this time round – equating Muslims with that character in the children’s book who stole Christmas. You want Christmas? Vote Nazi. That’s the deal.3 of 7
Poster from Piratenpartei Deutschland (flickr.com)
Piratenpartei
PIRATES: Reverse psychology! Excellent. I don't know what you're doing there either. What IS the point of all this? I know that being a pirate is different from being a Pirate – and that the aura of anarchy has been sleeked and professionalized a little by the snazzy new design. But one thing’s for sure: I don't know why I am here and you are there, asking me why you are there.4 of 7
Photo from designtagebuch.de
Die Linke
DIE LINKE: All of Die Linke’s other campaign posters are admirably direct policy statements: “Stop Weapons Exports,” “10 Euro Minimum Wage” etc. And then there’s this one. Like the counterintuitive Pirate poster, and human beings, this poster is lost in doubts about its own purpose. Obviously the Ossis are going to vote for us again. We don’t even know why we bothered to put this poster up. They’re Ossis! They don’t give a shit about posters. They’re too cool.5 of 7
Poster from der-postillon.com
SPD
SPD: The massive WE features heavily on the SPD posters. WE this, WE that. WE aren’t just WE, WE are YOU. In this case it says “WE for old age without poverty.” That’s a good idea. I’m glad someone is dealing with that, because Gerhard Schröder really fucked us over with his Riester-Rente pension reform, which left poor people even poorer when they got old. What party was he in again?6 of 7
Photo from designtagebuch.de
CDU
CDU: All the CDU’s posters are designed to do one thing: make sure that no one has any thoughts when they look at them. About anything. The brainstorming sessions involved carefully drugging a docile mammal – maybe a koala bear – and asking it to come up with an especially vapid slogan to put next to a particularly meaningless picture. Who are these people? What are they supposed to be doing? Oh look, a car.7 of 7
Poster from fdp.de
FDP
FDP: We’re young, we’re dynamic, we’re middle class, we’re bright yellow. If you want Germany to stay strong, vote for this badly-airbrushed old man. I’m afraid it’s the only way.