Oh dear, once again, you delayed your plans to buy an EasyJet ticket out of this firecracker-infested hellhole for too long, and now look at what happened: you’re stuck. Here. But you’ve got options other than staring at the ceiling until morning strikes or running down Hermannstraße with a bottle of Rotkäppchen in one hand and a pack of Aldi’s finest pyro delights in the other.
If you want to make your absent friends jealous with glamorous selfies taken amongst marble columns and plenty of GDR history, venture east to the Funkhaus, where top-shelf techno promoters HYTE will be taking over with a lineup including Adam Beyer, Chris Liebing, Loco Dice, Nina Kraviz and plenty more (18:00). But this extravagance will cost you: €69-99, depending on whether you want access to a “premium” area with its own bar and toilets.
If you’re willing to trade glam for grime, you’ll find a cheaper techno fix at the RAW Gelände. Lexy & K-Paul, Format:B and more will be taking over Astra Kulturhaus’ annual Happy New Yeah party (23:59), while Suicide Circus invites you to 36 hours of non-stop techno (23:59). Heavyweights might prefer Der weiße Hase, where €65 gets you entrance and unlimited drinks all night. If you’d rather avoid Warschauer Straße like the plague, head over to Friedrichshain’s Nordkiez and check out Minimal Bar on Rigaer Straße, where chilled-out electronic beats will accompany your sprints around the ping pong table (19:00).
Across the Spree, on Lohmühleninsel, Birgit and Burg Schnabel take the German tradition of Vorglühen quite seriously, commencing their joint New Year’s Eve celebrations on December 29 and culminating in eight floors of debauchery with 20 DJs playing tracks from literally every genre in the book. Further east, close to Ostkreuz, Kosmonaut tries to top that with four full days of their trademark tech-house sets (Dec 30-Jan 2) in what they’re cheekily calling their “Final Mission” (come on, guys, you’re only closing for a month for renovations).
Back in Kreuzberg proper, Ritter Butzke invites you to its annual Hippie New Year with a lineup led by Hamburg house aficionado Stimming (23:00), while Gretchen offers a varied genre mix from drum ‘n’ bass to hip hop, soul and Latin beats played by DJ Storm, Icicle, Marc Hype, Phonomat and more (23:00). Laid-back house tunes of the soul variety are your thing? Then head to Loftus Hall on Maybachufer.
For analogue lovers, Bassy Club in Prenzlauer Berg might be your best option, blasting rockabilly and other 1960s gems from behind the DJ booth after a live performance by Gribitch Brothers & Sisters (21:00). If leather jackets and poodle skirts aren’t your idea of dressing up, look no further than Solar next to Anhalter Bahnhof (19:00). After their gala dinner and sky party, you might have a €200-sized hole in your pocket, but it’s worth it for the chance to view the Silvester carnage from a safe distance while eating fancy food off actual plates. If you prefer a more grounded, but nonetheless fancy soirée, Clärchen’s Ballhaus has, of course, been a trusted choice for years.
In case you’re not still at it on January 1, join International Pony alumnus Erobique for his Neujahrsgala at Festsaal Kreuzberg (16:00). His soul, funk and disco-inspired Tanzmusik will certainly be an antidote to your New Year’s Day blues.