Mary Katharine is a former Kinsey Institute research assistant with a degree in gender studies who writes a sex column about all the dirty stuff in Berlin. In honour of Frauenkampftag on Sunday, we asked her to expound on one of her favourite subjects: female ejaculation, or when ladies spritz back.
March 8 is International Women’s Day, but for some countries, it doesn’t stop there. What’s that? You’ve never heard that March is Women’s History Month (“Frauen-März”) in Germany? Then perhaps we ought to rename it something that sticks, something a little easier to remember. I hereby officially declare – by the negligible powers vested in me – March to be “International Female Ejaculation Month”.
Forget about waiting for the scientific community, the media, the British Board of Film Censors, or the Australian Classification Board to fully acknowledge female ejaculation as a natural sexual response. It’ll happen eventually, and in the meantime, let’s forge ahead.
Female ejaculation: What is it?
Let’s make sure we all know what we’re talking about. Some girls expel fluid from or around the urethra during arousal or at the time of orgasm. Ejaculation can happen regularly or sporadically and in a range of quantities. The amount can be so small that it goes unnoticed (especially if there are other sexy substances around, like vaginal lubrication or male ejaculate), or so voluminous that the bed sheets are soaked. One type of female ejaculate is milky (it’s similar in appearance and composition to male ejaculate). The other is usually clear and odorless, and a fiercely vocal hashtag campaign maintains that its chemical makeup is distinct from pee. Some experts say female ejaculate helps sperm stay alive in the vagina.
Where does it come from?
Now we’ll clear up some pesky language issues. The g-spot. Go ahead and remove this misnomer from your vocabulary and replace it with “prostate”. There is no elusive “spot” that some women have and some don’t. There is, however, a gland which surrounds the urethra that’s analogous to the male prostate. Formerly known as the “Skene’s gland”, it’s this female prostate that’s likely responsible for producing she-jaculate.
A new discovery? Hardly. Dutch anatomist Regnier de Graaf wrote that female ejaculation can be achieved by “frisky fingers” on the “female prostate” in his 1672 textbook. For some reason, it wasn’t until the beginning of the 21st century that the medical community finally recognised, again, that women have one. This video with Wanda Sykes as Goddess will show you how to find it. Or you can ask at Other Nature, in Kreuzberg, for more educational videos or books.
Do it yourself
Need some more guidance? Head to sex-positive shop/salon Sexclusivitäten, where this month just happens to be Mösenmonat (“cunt month”). On Friday, March 13 there’s a lecture and film about female ejaculation and mainstream porn. And on Saturday, March 14, there’s a workshop for those who want to learn how to female ejaculate: “Wir spritzen zurück!”
Since the UK and Australia have banned female ejaculation from pornography (marking it as obscene in the face of such ubiquitous, innumerable ejaculating males), why not protest by incorporating it into your own DIY porn? This Saturday, March 7, there’s a beginner’s how-to-shoot-a-porn workshop, “From Fantasy to Film”, taught by award-winning filmmaker Jennifer Lyon Bell. Bell is the founder and director of Blue Artichoke Films, which is “dedicated to making artistic, unusual erotic films that portray sexuality in an emotionally realistic way”. The workshop is in English, so you don’t even have to bother learning new vocabulary, like Liederlichkeit or doppelte Penetration, before you go.
Things to keep in mind
If you’re a guy who thinks he’s the cat’s pajamas for “making a girl come” because she has ejaculated, remember that ejaculation and orgasm are not the same thing. They can happen simultaneously, but many women experience ejaculation separately from orgasm. And even if she did come, she can come again, so don’t be lazy.
Also, not every girl ejaculates, wants to ejaculate, or enjoys “G-spot” stimulation. Don’t listen to anyone who makes claims of a singular female sexual experience where one pleasure is superior to another. Nevertheless, I’ve heard a wise woman say, “Orgasm is orgasm is orgasm”. Female sexualitiy is diverse and there are numerous ways of achieving pleasure. Jedem Tierchen sein Pläsierchen. Happy International Female Ejaculation Month, Berlin.